I haven’t posted anything of my own in a while, but I plan to get things going soon. In the meantime, I thought I’d pass on this old, but very awesome story from Rolling Stone (via kottke.org).
A kid from Idaho goes from running a paper-route to running a drug empire around the time most of us are still figuring out how to sneak cheap vodka into our dorm rooms. It may not be for everyone, but for those who have ever wondered what would happen if the movies BLOW and Pineapple Express had sex (while “Special K” videotaped), you may have found your answer.
“You know, name sells,” says Jonas, a local who has worked full-time as a [marijuana] grower and smuggler. “I read in People or some stupid shit a list of the highest-stress jobs. Number one was president of the United States. Number two was drug smuggler.” He chuckles. “This is above astronauts!”
Above astronauts? Maybe. More midnight Taco Bell runs? Definitely.
- Tyler Cowen– economist and food critic– answers a question I’ve often wondered: “Why don’t more people like spicy food?” (My takeaway: Start secretly adding chilies to my girlfriend’s meals. She’s not a small Mexican child, true, but this could be a promising start in bridging our long time spicy-disconnect. Wish me luck.)
- Thank you Ken– now I know how Steve Lavin felt before every UCLA basketball game.
- Of all the terrible 2am infomercials I’ve ever sat through in my life, how has this invention never popped up? Completely indefensible. We should all feel cheated.
- Am I nit-picking here? Okay, maybe. Probably. But those “230 miles-per-gallon Chevy Volt” ads don’t mean what you think they mean. And this upsets me (albeit more than it probably should).
- Dinosaur Comics, making everything better again:
Interesting work from Calculated Risk charting US population distributions from 1955 to 2050 (as estimated by the Census Bureau):
I can’t really say anything knowledgeable about looming health care costs, but I will say this: Stay off the roads in 2050– something tells me we’ll be seeing a lot more full-sized sedans and a lot less turn signals.
From Slashdot from the Examiner:
A worldwide study of bills from over 30 cities in five countries found a startling statistic: “cocaine is present in up to 90 percent of paper money in the United States, particularly in large cities such as Baltimore, Boston, and Detroit. The scientists found traces of cocaine in 95 percent of the banknotes analyzed from Washington, D.C., alone.”
… How the drug gets on the bills is well-understood. Money changes hand during a drug deal (of course), but bills are also used in the consumption of cocaine as the drug can be rolled into a bill and snorted.
Startling, indeed.
In fact, after reading this article, I immediately opened my wallet and scanned every corner of every bill in there. I know it’s a pointless exercise, but now I keep wondering: Exactly what percentage of my bills have traces of Lindsay Lohan on them?
8%? 15%? 40%? I sniff smell a follow-up study coming.
It’s Friday afternoon and this work week has partially melted my brain, so excuse me if I sound like someone who just ate a magic brownie for lunch…
I just can’t help but wonder, sitting here staring at these two pictures; are Man and Puppet actually much closer genetic relatives than we’ve previously been lead to believe?
 "You know, we are not so different... you and I." |
 "RAHHWWRRGG! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie!" |
Okay, maybe I did eat a brownie.
Disclaimer: My relationship with the kitchen is a lot like my mom’s relationship with the internet. Nothing ever feels feels quite as comfortable as it should, so I tread cautiously, hope not to screw anything up, and leave immediately after I’ve accomplished what I first set out to do. Over time, I’ve slowly embraced the little pockets of goodness hidden within this mysterious culinary realm, but I’ve done so in baby steps. With that in mind, you should approach my cooking advice the same way I approach all those forwarded email chains from my mom, and take the following with a massive grain of… wait, what’s that spice called again?
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The It’s-It Milkshake
A Dreaming About Naps’ Original Recipe
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Background: At 11:30pm, craving a milkshake but in no state to drive and get one, I desperately turned to a nearby liquor store for answers. What resulted in that next hour was an entirely unprecedented breakthrough in modern dessert-making science — A taste-bud bachelor party so debaucherous, it made the closing scenes of The Hangover seem about as wild as a Mormon wedding reception.
Ingredients: One of the great things about the It’s-It Milkshake is that all the ingredients are conveniently found at any SF-based liquor store. The only downside to this is that all the ingredients are found at a liquor store. They are as follows:
- 1/2 Pint -Vanilla Ice Cream
- 2 Cups – Chocolate Milk
- 1 – It’s-It Ice Cream Sandwich
Directions:
- Throw everything into a blender (you may need to break the It’s-It into smaller pieces).
- Activate blender, varying time and speed based on how chunky (or creamy) you like your milkshakes. Though texture may vary, crazy-deliciousness will remain constant.
I probably should have included a picture of the end-product, but I totally forgot to take it. Suffice to say, I was way more excited about drinking The Milkshake than taking its picture. Maybe I’ll remember that part the next time I make it, which, according to webMD, should be absolutely never.
Enjoy, and please drink responsibly. :]
